


How it All Began

by japanfan101



Series: Learning to Love the Void [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ASL, Comfort, Fluff, Gaster's still stuck in the void, Other, Reader isn't referred to by gender, Reader-Insert, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 19:31:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5838109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/japanfan101/pseuds/japanfan101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The musings of a human who's fallen in love with our goopy friend, Dr. Gaster. There isn't enough love for Gaster while he's still in the void, so I wanted to explore that because he's great in every form.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How it All Began

You aren’t sure when you started to feel something more than friendship for the goopy scientist, Gaster.

It wasn’t from the start, in fact when you first met him you were absolutely terrified and pretty disgusted. It didn’t help that when he tried to speak, the most horrifying screeching sound you’d ever heard came out of his mouth. You screamed, dropping your grocery bags, and ran for your life. Later on, he sheepishly apologized for scaring you like that. As it turns out, he hadn’t tried speaking after falling into the void and had no idea that he’d be unable to. With downturned eyes, you apologized for running away like that, you felt horrid reacting that way when he was just trying to talk to you after the two of you met each other’s gaze during that first encounter and your eyes widened, showing him that you could see him.

To be perfectly honest, it baffles you to this day how you’re able to see him when no one else can, and even Gaster himself doesn’t have an answer as to why.

You fell for him long after learning sign language together; it couldn’t have been then. You just wanted to understand him, at first you felt bad for him and hoped to find a way that he didn’t have to be so alone, wherever he was. ASL was a way for him to share ideas with you, and boy did he talk. A lot. You guessed it was from being alone for so long, but it made you happy to watch him sign animatedly as he explained different scientific concepts and theories, or talked about the underground and his brothers. It was clear that he loved he family dearly. He also asked you about your interests and your family, he was especially interested in your pet cat, Whiskers, as owning pets in the underground was rare. Once, you jokingly told him not to experiment on her. His expression was horrified as he assured you he’d never do that to someone’s dear pet.

The feelings didn’t start when you took him back to your house to live with you, like a fluffy animal abandoned by heartless owners. You brought him home because, after talking with him a few times, it became apparent just how lonely he was. It’d been ages since he last interacted with anyone, if the forlorn look in his dimming eyes every time you had to leave, or the way they lit up when he saw you coming, was any indication. You yourself didn’t feel like there was anything all that special about you; but he was always excited to see you. At first he was apprehensive, afraid to do anything but stand in one spot by the door, even after you repeatedly requested that he make himself at home. Eventually, he did move to the couch and sit next to you, albeit looking very anxious. That was definitely an improvement though.

This emotion wasn’t something you understood well; you’d seen people in movies who felt this way, and watched your friends fall in and out of love, but felt as though you were… broken. Everyone else fell in love, why couldn’t you? And of course, when you did, it just had to be with a ghost made of goop that no one else could see, and you weren’t even sure if he was corporeal or not. The process was gradual, over time. Seeing him get flustered by the smallest things, and watching the awe and wonder on his face grow when you showed him a new documentary or shared a new bit of information with him. Sometimes you teased him and, at first, he didn’t seem to understand. But after some time and a few explanations, he learned to tease you right back, and you fell into a comfortable pattern with Gaster.

He didn’t need to eat or sleep like he did before the fall, and you couldn’t help but notice a spark of sadness in his eyes whenever you did either. You came to the conclusion that he missed being able to interact with the world around him, he missed being real and alive. From that point forward, you did what you could to include him in menial activities. He could use magic to affect the environment, so you’d also give him small chores to do around the house while you went off to work. Sometimes he would grumble about it, but his eyes always held a hint of excitement at the prospect of actually doing something other than sitting around, watching TV. These days, you always came home to a sparkling clean house, and occasionally even a homemade dinner.

The first time he cooked for you shocked you; it was simple, a box of mac and cheese made with extra cheese (which, let’s be honest, makes everything better). He was shy at first, worried that you wouldn’t like it. He’d never made or eaten human food before, but it was absolutely delicious! You ate all of it and thanked him, and when you did a light grey painted his cheeks but he smiled brightly at you; in that moment, all you could think of was how adorable the goop man was. You wanted to see him smile like that all the time, and silently vowed to do what you could to make sure he stayed happy.

So when you came home one day and he was nowhere to be found, you panicked and dropped everything you were carrying. Upon exploring the house, frantically, you found him sitting on your bed with black liquid coming out of his eyes, like tears. His hands were covering his face, which was angled towards the floor and he was shivering. A pain gripped at your heart and you sat next to him. When he jumped, alarmed, and tried to pretend he was fine, you wordlessly reached out and attempted to hug him. It was a surprise to both of you when it worked and your hands pressed into his body.

The thick goop poured over your shoulders, into your hair, and stuck to your chest, but you paid no attention to that. You told him that everything was going to be okay, and that you were here for him; that there’s no reason for him to hide from you. His hands trembled as they clung to your back, and he wept. Not loudly, there was no sound at all in fact, but you held him until the tears stopped, whispering to him about how everything’s all right and he isn’t alone anymore, and continued to hold him close to you for a few moments afterwards, in silence. When you two separated, some of the goop clung to your clothes as strongly as Gaster’s hands had, and when he looked embarrassed and tried to clean you off, you just laughed and said you didn’t mind, telling him to relax and not waste energy on something the shower could take care of. And truly, you didn’t mind. In fact, it felt kind of nice. You left that last part out.

He never did tell you why he was crying that day, and you never asked. It hurt you that he was hiding something from you, but everyone has their secrets and he’s allowed to keep his.

You sat in your room one day, pondering all this, upset that you allowed romantic feelings to blossom. A frustrated sigh escaped your lips and you doubled over, holding your head in your hands. At some point, Gaster had won your heart. And you didn’t know if you wanted it back. But there was no way the feelings were mutual, and even if he thought he loved you, you were certain that’d be because he’s gone so long without any contact. He’d be mistaking loneliness and friendship for love. You couldn’t handle that and definitely didn’t want to be with him if that’s not actually what he wanted.

A few weeks passed in relative normalcy, until the day he asked if he could show you something.

His face was a dark grey, and his eyes wouldn’t meet yours. Curiously, you asked what he wanted to show you, and when you received no immediate answer you grew concerned and verbalized your concern, asking him if something was wrong. He told you that there was nothing wrong, and what he said next took you by surprise; he wanted to see your soul and show it to you. Quickly, he explained that he would show you his too if he could but it had been mostly scattered through time and space; only a small fraction remained with him, and it was impossible to show to anyone.

Your brow furrowed in confusion, but you told him you didn’t realize that was possible, then nodded and said that it’s all right and you trust him. The worry melted off his face and was replaced with a shy expression as he motioned for you to sit down on the couch. You did as he asked and he sat down as well, facing you. There was something strange about his look, like he was uncertain, as his hand hovered over the center of your chest. It stayed there for a while, until you put your hand around the back of his. That made his fear wash away and he smiled at you, eyes lighting up.

With more confidence, his hand finally rested on your chest.

As his hand pulled back, you felt like you were being dragged along until your soul popped free from your chest. In awe, you stared, eyes fixed on the floating, luminescent heart resting just above his palm. For the first time, you noticed the holes in his palms, but your attention was quickly pulled back to the source of light. The shadows in the room darkened, but shrunk, and the light emanating from your soul bathed the two of you in a soft, warm glow. He explained the nature of the soul, and how strong human souls are. He told you, shyly, that yours is the most beautiful he’s ever seen. After talking with you about all this, he returned your soul to its place in your chest and thanked you for that.

You hadn’t yet found the courage to admit your feelings for him, but the life that you two lived together was comfortable; even if no one else knew about it.

His first Christmas with you rolled around, and, laughing after having a bit too much to drink, you explained the tradition of mistletoe and pointed up. Sure enough, the mistletoe you hung was still there and he blushed, but didn’t pull away when you planted a large, sloppy kiss on his cheek and hugged him as tightly as you could afterwards, getting covered in goop and flustering him pretty badly.

You had bought him the entire Bill Nye the Science Guy series, thinking that he’d at least get a laugh out of it, and maybe even enjoy it the way you did as a kid. On top of that you got him a laptop, hopeful that he could communicate with others using it if he wanted to; if nothing else, it’d provide something for him to do while you were gone. You had also bought him a few books on cooking and baking, as he’d come to really enjoy that, and also gotten a book on theoretical physics. You told him if the book was too simple you could return it, but he smiled so brightly and almost immediately started flipping through it after thanking you. His eyes were practically glowing and he looked so happy; it made you blush, though you told yourself that the warmth in your cheeks was just due to the alcohol. He looked like he was about to cry, though, when he told you he hadn’t gotten you anything. With a loud laugh you told him that it was fine, you just wanted to bask in his ‘presents’. Your pun made him smile a bit, and you reassured him that you didn’t want anything other than to spoil him and keep him happy. You two spent the night comfortably teasing each other and talking, as usual.

The only thing you regretted about that night is that you only kissed him on the cheek.

A few days before New Year’s Eve, you made the decision to start the new year right and come clean about your feelings.

Nervously, you sat out in the living room with him and chatted, waiting for the right time. When the clock hit midnight, you managed to stutter out how you felt; saying that you really loved him, that you adored his smile and wanted to do everything in your power to make sure it stayed there. Stumbling over your words, you told him how much you wanted to help him find a way to escape the void, and how you trusted him far more than you ever thought you could trust anyone; how sweet he was and how happy you felt when thinking of him. He didn’t respond at first, and you panicked; you told him to forget what you said, that you meant it but if he’s not comfortable he can forget it happened. Blush crept onto his face and he slowly wrapped you in a warm, goopy hug. That wasn’t an answer though, and your mind was going a million miles an hour and telling you how you’ve made a mistake, ruined the friendship, how things were going to be awkward from here on out even if he chose to stay. You were convinced this was a pity hug or something, the look on his face had been unreadable as he hugged you and that scared you more than the day you first saw him. But when he pulled back you saw the loving smile on his face, and you knew before he signed anything that his lack of response was only because he was surprised.

He signed to you, telling you that he’s really enjoyed being here with you, and that your kindness and honesty have made him trust you completely. He said that he doesn’t know how a relationship would work between you two, human and goopy, technically nonexistent monster, or if it was even possible, but that he wanted to try if you did. He also added that he didn’t think there was a way for him to escape, so you shouldn’t get your hopes up, but he appreciated the sentiment.

As soon as he finished, you pulled his face down to meet yours and kissed him, this time correcting the mistake you made with the last kiss. Everywhere your body touched his, you wound up covered in whatever substance his body was made of, but by this time it made you feel safe, comfortable, warm, and loved.

No matter what he said, there had to be a way; and you were going to find that way and rescue him. But for tonight, you were just going to enjoy being with him.

**Author's Note:**

> I really really really wanted to do another reader-insert so I made this! It just kinda... happened? I didn't have a plan for it but I started writing and I liked it. So I'm posting it. I hope someone else likes it lol so I'm not the only one. I left the reader's soul colorless so that people could imagine it being whatever color they like.
> 
> God I'm such trash. And I love it! Hope you enjoyed the fic :p 
> 
> I'll be doing more reader inserts in the future, and *might* turn this into more than a oneshot but I dunno for sure.


End file.
